I think I lead a pretty decent life. And in saying that, I'm referring to the decisions I make every day. I don't have fancy cars, or that inground pool with a spa, or get my hair did every other week - and maybe if I made some different decisions I'd have more means to accomodate those kinds of whims and flights of fancy. But I'm happy with the majority of the choices I make every day.
I'm not an impulsive sort - I do take a moment or two to consider the outcomes, and how they will affect other people - their feelings, their workloads, their lives, etc. And again, maybe if I didn't so much I'd have some different things of my own. And I'm not implying that all those with greater means, necessarily live their lives with any less thoughtfulness. I know it seems that way, but bear with me.
It's just that things aren't as important to me as my big three - being kind, being courteous, and being thoughtful. No church taught me that. No big reference book gave me guidelines. They're just what feel right, and I try to live them every day. There's not a lot of it these days. There hasn't been in years, and you see it less and less. Crabby people and characters are glorified and celebrated, acts of violence and terror are everywhere we turn, adultery and betrayal get the air time.
So sometimes I feel like I need to double up. Though for the most part, it's like spitting into the wind, or digging a hole at the edge of the ocean - at least it feels that way quite often. But I can't give up. I won't give up. I just can't be that person.
Don't get me wrong, I ain't no saint by any means. I don't judge folks and don't hold myself on a pedestal. I've made some lousy choices of words and actions in my life - we all do, but I strive to make them better. Every day. Especially in the presence of children.
I observe many children in our local elementary school - through volunteering at the school, girl and boy scout programs, sport leagues, etc. And each and every opportunity dampens my spirit. For every bright, shining moment, there's three or four dark clouds that roll in. Pouting, hissy fits, sarcasm, rudeness, demands, posturing...seem to have become the norm, rather than the occasional occurance. I've even seen children choose to act that way because they've seen other children act that way, and succeed.
Children are not naturally like this. At least, that's what I choose to believe. They pattern what they see, what they are surrounded with most. As they get older these behaviors become more apparent. The words that they utter, the phrases - are not organic to eight, nine, and ten year-olds. The contstant outright defiance and lack of willingness to cooperate is out of line with what seems to be the natural way of things. The selfishness and impatience have no grounding in source - it's just demonstrated because they can.
But I look around at the adults, including myself. We tend to NOT censor ourselves, or rather we don't do it enough. We may not discuss sex or the torrid encounters of our own youth, but we do gossip, libel, and complain...constantly in front of impressionable children. We tear others down, both celebrity, politicians and commonfolk, often without even knowing why. We are rude to those who serve us; we are impatient with those who don't serve us fast enough; we are cruel to those serve us wrong (though we may not understand the circumstances as to why).
We dress inappropriately - both men and women. We've lost respect for many traditions (when was the last time you saw someone take their ballcap off in a restaurant, or during the national anthem?). We burp and fart flagrantly without excusing ourselves. We have forgotten please and thank you and may I. We often don't even say good bye, much less say hello. We refuse eye contact with strangers. We walk with our heads down and move swiftly by. We ignore our children and suffocate them with supervision at the wrong times. We get drunk in front of them.
Fred Astaire once said, "The hardest job kids have today is to learn good manners without seeing any." That was a long time ago. I can't imagine what he'd have to say today.
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