High Chair Philosophizin'

Okay, so during a battle of frozen peas and salami with my daughter I came up some fantastic nuggets of philosophy that I can't believe I didn't freaking write down.  I really assumed I would recall them when needed, at least by later in the evening, to share with my hubby and a friend.  But I didn't, and I don't - and I've been making this same mistake for most of my life - and I never fix it.  I don't get it.  But I digress...

My little girl was desperately trying to break free the bonds of her high chair and reach that final pea that was teetering on the edge of the tray.  With her first stretch I took the pea in my fingers and instinctively began to bring it to her.  Then I thought about it and put it back.  She looked at me, a bit surprised that I didn't deliver the tasty green morsel.  She stretched her hand out again and looked at me with that look.  I just looked back.  Again the stretch and now some vocal equivalent to your muscles stretching.  Then a bang on the tray.  Ooh, it moved!  Another bang, it rolled slightly closer to her.  What a neat trick! A few more good whacks and the quarry was within her grasp.  Her squeals of delight escalating with every improvement of the situation.  And she got it.  And she shoved in her mouth with such glee - one tiny pea was never so delectable!

And so it goes that what I was thinking had something to do with there being a fine line between parents willing to do anything for the sake of their children (which they should be) and parents who do everything for their sake of their children (but the language was far better).

The latter being the problem.  These parents do so much for their kids their kids have no reason to do anything for themselves ever.  And then those children expect everyone else to treat them that way as children and as adults.  Alright, I know that's not a huge revelation, but I just see it everyday and it's so frustrating.  For instance, I know a kid who won't talk (he's almost 3).  He's been tested up the yinyang for every disorder possible and the gazillion and one doctors can't find anything "wrong" with him. 

He doesn't talk because he doesn't have to.  His parents forsee every need every whim every everything and the child has no need to communicate.  He's home all day, so he doesn't really have outside influences.  And now his parents are all freaked out because something isn't perfect.  And yet they can't grasp the concept that their kid needs to need.  That needing is okay.  In relative quantities.  And these parents are far from unique.

Is it because they needed so much when they were kids?  Were their needs ignored?  Did they feel unable to fulfill their life dreams because of these empty feelings of neglect, so they overcompensate for the "sake" of their children?  Or is it for them?

Oh, too tired to think anymore.  Meet ya at the featherball...