So...I just spent the better part of a day purging, sorting, and somewhat organizing five years worth of Girl Scout stuff. There should be a badge just for that! It's been a trip, looking back on the growth of these girls. Some of I've had for the entire ride, others more recently, all of them near and dear to my heart. These elementary years are such rapid developmental times for them - its' amazing to see how different they look and act and feel in just a year's time, much less half a decade. I wish I had an entire room to dedicate to scouts, but that's not the reality of my life and somehow I need to condense half of my dining room into reasonable and usable cabinet. It's been quite a experience, and one I almost didn't get. I became a reluctant leader the very first year my daughter was able to participate - kindergarten, and have been one ever since.
I went to the recruitment rally dead set on signing her up for something I wasn't going to be the primary adult for. I looked forward to an activity I wasn't making decisions about for the most part, where I would drop her off and pick her up and be surprised at a craft, or enjoy her stories of what she did that afternoon or on her field trip. Oh sure, I'd help out - I'd take on one of those support roles - maybe cookie mom, or snack coordinator, something with limited commitment. Momma was gonna get some down time.
As soon as I walked in, my name was heard aloud, followed by, "you'd make a great troop leader!" in a variety of persuasive styles from the perky cheerleader to the low-key non-chalant passive/aggressive approach. I held fast. I voiced my intent repeatedly. More for my own sake than anyone elses really.
Later that week I got the call. "We've got enough girls to put together a troop that meets in the early evening (I was working full-time outside the home at the time), but still no confirmed leader," "Uhh-huh, okay," I replied, "when might we know?" I was strong.
"Well, it could be soon, it could be a few weeks. We're having conversations with a few people. Have you given it any thought?" the recruiter asked.
"To be honest, not really, I'm just too busy." I was determined.
"A lot of our leaders work full-time too," she continued. "It's really not what you'd think. I've got everything you'd need too - no sense in reinventing the wheel."
"I'm sure, but I really want my daughter to have an experience without me - it would be good for her," I was confident.
"Well...I understand. I do have a spot in another troop I could slide your daughter into," she paused and I steeled myself because I could hear, as she drew in her breath that preparation for the kill shot. "I kinda have to..." I tried to get it in, to cut her off, to not even get to the awkward moment...I faltered.
"But bear in mind, if we don't find a new leader, none of these girls will to have this experience."
BLAM, a solid hit.
"I...well...." I stammered. I never should have hesitated.
"Your daughter will be fine. I'll put her in the other troop for now...and I'll have to contact those other moms..." POW, this one took me down a notch.
"Yeahh...it's always hard to disappoint the girls," she sighed. LORD this woman was GOOD. The shield went down in a glorious shatter. I caved.
"Well...I guess...I could try..." I guiltily fumbled. "What do I have to do?"
And five years later here I am, preparing for year six. Turns out it's been one of the best choices I've ever made, however reluctant it was.
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