Friday, January 08, 2010

Cookie Time

First time selling Girl Scout cookies since I myself was a Girl Scout. Of course, this is my daughter's turn and I was so very impressed by her ease in producing the pitch, remembering the facts, and turning on the charm. What bothered me was how her persona changed when she participated in the sale with a group of other girls.

Very democratically, each girl took a turn at a house, as we went door-to-door in the old traditional style through our neighborhood. Rory had first dibs because she is the youngest, and the first door she knocked on she came out ahead and strong. Then she watched the older girls on their calls, who are not as bold, not as confident, and much more self-aware. And by Rory's next turn she had completely changed her approach to reflect that of the other girls. This disturbed me somewhat. Don't get me wrong, to an extent I understand...I do...and I can remember the need to fit in, the need to NOT want to stand out, the need to connect with peers on their level to receive their compassion, their sympathy, their perceived friendship. What I can't remember is when that changed for me...and thank goodness it did. Though admittedly, I have felt the pull of the comfort of "normalcy" particurlarly in the parenting mode - though I likely know quite a few folks who would say I've never been "normal", and quite a few who would say I'm the most normal person they know...

I pulled her aside and asked what happened to her approach and she shrugged, looked to the ground and mumbled the age-old cop out, "I don't know,". As the evening wore on she did come back around to her usual self for the most part, but slightly...damper. She enjoyed herself and was proud of her end result and was very tired - so I chose to not harp on her assimilation to the crowd.

Interesting to see it all from above, so to speak...as an observer. What I hope most is that I can teach her to find a balance - to be herself in all its glory, and at the same time, not let it blaze out of control.

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