So, we take the town, hit the aquarium, play in the parks, eat great food, and then spend the day in the city's newest tourist attraction - the NEW World of Coca-Cola. Now, I'd never seen the OLD World of Coca-Cola, however, I can attest to living in it for the past 37 years.
I wasn't quite sure what to expect - I mean, really, the entire facility is really just a gigantic, glorified advertisement for one of the world's most pervasive products...ever. The welcome lobby and waiting room were both completely lost on my children - who have never had more than a few sips of Mommy's Diet Coke in their lives. They've never tasted regular Coca-Cola, and aren't big fans of anything fizzy. People kept asking them what their favorite soda was, and proudly, they stated, "water!" to which the attendants replied, "what flavor water?" and they would reply, "no flavor, just plain water! Or milk." I haven't seen that look of shock since my son said he didn't like french fries. They also haven't quite lived long enough to remember the advertising slogans that made history, or understand the breadth of meaning in seeing the phrases repeated in 50 different languages.
But they did understand "The Happiness Factory", which I guess, is their pet name for the project. The name alone gave me the chills. Into the theater we filed, and I knew something was wrong from the start. The illusion they poured millions in to create was already blown, as the giant screen to display the "documentary" - you'll see why I used quotes later on, was stuck in the up position, already revealing the esophagus into the belly of the beast, which was hosting a spasmodic sphincter that my daughter noted multiple times "Mommy, why does the door keep opening and closing?" . The attendant tried her hardest to calm the crowd, offering random cola history and testing the knowledge of the audience in consumerism. After about 10 minutes, she gave up, apologizing profusely and directing the crowd out - not through the intended entrance, but an alternate one - akin to the back hallways of a mall, if you've ever been privy to them - no magic, bright lights, lots of plaster. We plainly followed her direction, eventually ending up in the main hub of the center, but without the grand greeting and direction that would come later, to the thousands that followed. So the few hundred of us wandered a bit aimlessly, like marbles in a big glass jar. Not so much happiness there. Hmmm.
The next section we found was a bottling simulation. This excited me somewhat as I had visions of Laverne and Shirley watching the thousands of bottles go by...and I really don't know why that excited me, but it did. We looked at the cleaner, and the capper, and the sorter, and the...well, wouldn't you know it. It wasn't working. People clad in flimsy shower caps and surgical gloves kept tapping at computer screens trying to make things go. I kept thinking as hard as I could, "just turn it off and flip it back on, it always works at home." But they didn't hear me. So that was a wash. A friendly Coca-Cola attendant came up to me and asked me if I was enjoying myself. I didn't answer.
So off we went to climb the big stairs, that got smaller as you got higher - very Willy Wonka. And off the the 4-D interactive movie experience - which much to my pleasant surprise was included in your entrance fee. And we got to keep our 3-D glasses - flimsy paper ones, but they did work, and I knew they hadn't sat on anyone else's face before. The preview movie in the waiting area freaked me out as it was a lesson in taste (not the Vanity Fair kind, but actual sense of taste, including your olfactory system). It was an argument between the taste buds and the olfactory sensors in fact, and it just weirded me out. But I did learn something - I was always taught about four taste sensations - sour, sweet, bitter, and salty. Now I've tucked a fifth sense (it's almost as wonderous as learning about the fourth dimension!) - umami. It's apparently my favorite one, and my daughter's - we'll take anything savory over the old tastes anyday. But it also covers "meatiness" - so I don't know how that works with a vegan.
And off to the movie. It was pretty intense - my three year old LOVED it and couldn't wait to do it again, my five year old was glad it was over. The seats moved, lots of wind in your face, and I swear they sprayed you with soda because I know I felt sticky afterwards. But the effects were cool, to say the least.
To be continued! Coming up:
- Tastes from the planet - who knew I preferred Incan brew?
- Brandon - not just where we live, but an odd frustrated photography coordinator
- Polar Bears - mmm, soft and cuddly and they'll eat you too!
- Tell us your Coke story! - Too easy - but I'll let you provide the joke
- Phalluses and pierced nipples - oh, that's why they called it the Happiness Factory!
