This was originally posted on Facebook during the Summer of 2019
Florida is such a purple state that, often, conversations with strangers can be really awkward because you really just never know who you’re dealing with on certain subjects. I guess you can say that about anyone, anywhere really, but in other places I’ve lived and worked people have been a bit more homogeneous in political stance.
I tend to wind up in conversations with strangers over lots of things. I still don’t quite understand why strangers approach me with questions or start conversations beyond the polite societal niceties as often as they do, but I’m typically receptive to it. I guess it’s just a vibe I emit. It often drives my kids my kids crazy, sometimes to a point of teenage embarrassment, but I hope it teaches them, if anything, that we’re all human, and it’s important to remember that we can all connect in some level, among other things. But I digress.
The past few weeks have been, like most of the country, hotter than usual. And yes, I live in Florida..I know..it’s always hot. And yes, we tend to tolerate our heat a bit more. And yes, every summer some of typical polite niceties is “sure is a warm one today,” “stay cool out there,” “hoowhee, can’t wait till winter.” These are often mentioned in passing, or in that sometimes awkward moment of close vicinity for some reason (think waiting for a light to change, an elevator ride, a waiting room, etc).
But this summer it seems like people want to talk.
The standard anecdote comes out, but not followed by the usual polite smile and head turn or drop, indicating the exchange is over. It seems to be posed as a question, with a lingering stare, a look of exasperation, a hand swipe to the forehead of the back of the neck. It’s often followed with, before I even reply, “I’ve lived here my whole life, and have never seen a summer like this.” Which could end things. But they go on, “I swear every summer it’s getting worse and worse.”
Again, also a reasonable out - time to offer a nod, a quick acknowledgement, etc. But then comes the question, something along the lines of “I just don’t understand it, why does it keep happening...I don’t know how much more this I can take and my electric bill is through the roof...what am I supposed to do?” With eye contact. Long, sweaty, exasperated eye contact.
As I mentioned, Florida is very politically and ideologically purple. Other than Miami, and particular areas of central eastern Florida it’s a total crap shoot. So you have to consider the odds and make your decisions quickly on your reply...unless you’re one of those folks who exhibit a particular freedom of sorts, and either relish a spontaneous argument or just don’t care about ruffling feathers ever.
While I do enjoy a good argument from time to time (and I emphasize the word argument, not fight) they’re getting harder and harder to find as people seem to leap quicker into derogatory retorts and playground politics. And the heat doesn’t help.
So I’m left in this awkward position of wanting to seize the opportunity of awakening folks to the reality of what’s happening environmentally, or letting them know it’s okay to acknowledge that it is really happening, balanced with what...might...happen...next.
I don’t like ticking people off — contrary to what a number of my friends believe. I’ve been called a pot stirrer, a disrupter, and other not so nice words. But I don’t approach these circumstances with malice aforethought to instigate rage. When I post or say something that could be provocative I just want folks to take a moment sometimes and THINK. I know I’m not going to change their minds with a social media snark, but if it gives anyone a chance to consider another stance it opens the door of connection. It’s also why I don’t unfriend folks of different opinion, and belong to some groups you probably wouldn’t expect me to. Again...I digress.
The personal exchange between strangers IRL is an entirely other ball park. No insulation of distance nor anonymity. Less opportunity to just walk away and get a snack, click off, shut down. More opportunity for escalation. And what crosses my (you may call neurotic) mind with every exchange, the chance that that person is packing heat (and I'm not talking about the weather) and might be on the brink.
I’m pleasantly surprised by the reactions I’m getting to my responses, which as you can likely surmise based on this treatise, are more than the typical jargon of strangers, but still delicate in delivery, drizzled in colloquial speech to soften the tone. I don’t go on too long, it’s too hot for that, just providing some food for thought, leaving out scare tactics and apocalyptic overtone which seem rampant in public discourse. And people seem receptive. They nod. They follow up with, “we gotta do something about this” (which is much better than the “they gotta”...there’s some sense of ownership or duty).
All that being said...these conversations feed my eternal optimist side, filling it with possibilities and letting hope for a better and healthier future crawl out of the cage it’s been put in by its more jaded pessimistic partner. Maybe we can save the world, one awkward, sweaty conversation at a time.
